Star Axe review
By Chris Birch
Copyright (c) 1991 Apple Users' Group, Sydney
Republished from Applecations, a publication of the Apple Users' Group, Sydney, Australia.
IT'S RAINING '57 CHEVIES AND PURPLE THINGS TOO!
You've blown away the Oculoids and keel-hauled the Pyrates. The Diamonds, well, they didn't last forever and the Asteroids - mere space junk. But when the '57 chevies start dropping out of the sky you can't help wondering if you've blown away the gasket of your mind.
Certainly one shoot-em-up too many, if only you could stop now. Just one more stage to go before you get an additional Star Axe with which to do battle. You were lucky to get past the Astro Swine. You know the ones. Big pink pigs that resemble puffer fish sailing majestically through the air. Smiling. Until you hit them with your Star Axe of course.
Just one more stage. You can't quit now. Only one thousand points to the high score. There's nothing standing in your way save for the Purple Things. The Real McCoy. Just four or five of them. Yep, just four or five Real Nasty Purple Things.
There's time to sharpen your Star Axe between stages and ironically recall fond memories of battles fought long ago in another time space continuum. Were you really shooting at descendants of The Fly crying "Help me!", does a Bleh really go "Bleh!" when you hit it and were they really Falcons flapping their wings?
And all the while you know kids of all ages are shooting-em-up just like you. Not because they like the gratuitous violence and the out pouring of the days tensions. Nobody plays computer games for senseless reasons like that. No, it's the pop-up help screen that lets you freeze the game so you can perform a bodily function such as sleep or get a Space Food Stick from the cupboard.
Yes, this article is a review of White Wings Space Food Sticks. Full of presumably nutritious and digestible fillers and flavourings. The essential sustenance for when the Space Bugs and Organons really turn nasty. Delicious when chopped up and sprinkled on a bowl of Fruit Loops or sandwiched between two slices of bread, cottage cheese and sultanas.
And excellent with Star Axe. In fact all you need is an Apple IIgs, a mouse and a copy of Star Axe from the AUG Public Domain disk library to savour the mana of cosmic cowboys. You won't even need a joy stick. But be careful, your mouse might nibble at your Space Food Sticks.

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